Stop Moaning, you're going to stay poor.

I have written and re-written this blog four times now. I just could not begin to even start to come up with a topic that sticks. Until last night that is.


Im getting really pissed off with listening to people bitching about the Derren Brown Events, and I'm pretty sure I know why.


The series began with an amazing piece of Television trickery. Derren Brown "predicted" the lottery numbers live on TV. It was an amazing "how the fuck did that happen" piece of work with a promise to explain how it was done the following Friday. The country tuned in, many of whom i would guess had never seen a Derren Brown show before and we're watching to see how to make their millions. Thats where the problems lay.

They all tuned in to see how they could make their millions, seemingly forgetting that if it was that simple, everyone in the country would be able to win, therefore making the lottery pointless. It was an entertaining show with cutaways to tricks such the kife/cup etc, with a funny part at the end about he *would* have infiltrated camelot.


At 10pm sharp, the moaning started.


"The Wisdom of crowds thing is bollocks, thats not how he did it"


OF COURSE ITS NOT YOU MISERABLE FUCKTARDS! THATS NOT THE POINT.


David Copperfield has made a living out of saying "I can fly, because I'm Magic, Its the Magic Within me" and no one questions it. We all know he cant fly. No one with that big a head would be able to without mechanical intervention, but he doesnt get people moaning on about him being a fraud.


The deep seated reason why people got pissed off with the Lottery broadcast is that Derren didnt turn around and give the audience a button that said "lottery win" so they couldnt get rich. Simple As.


Last nights offering of controling the nation was excellent, and more in tune with the live shows he does. The P.W.A tricks were amazingly excecuted with my personal favourite being Frank the Giraffe. I did spot a couple of the suggestions because on the win/lose game and the green chair one, mainly i was looking out for them but it was a great and diverting hour of TV.


Then the headline act, sticking to the chair. I didnt personally get particularly stuck, but know a few who did. I feet very very heavy around my arms, knees so it was more of an effort to get up, but possible.


Anyway, to conclude. If you dont like the suggestion, PWA, and ultimately unique kind of magic that he does, Strictly come dancing is on BBC1. Those who, like me, enjoy and are facinated by, psychological magic, next weeks looks awesome.

Stream of conciousness

Its friday. Woo yay and indeed hoopla. This week has dragged horribly, and sods law dictates that this weekend will speed past so fast that friday will seem to merge inperceptively in to monday. I always seemed to have so much to do on a weekend without having much at all planned. Take this weekend for example....

Actually, before I go into what I'm doing this weekend I should explain something, otherwise people who don't know me will just get confused.

I have a lovely boyfriend called chris. We've been together 18 months and have lived together for 2 month.

I have a lovely wife called sarah. We've been married for over 2 years now. She's one of my closest friends and we are so close we do act married. We even have an aniversary - 22nd May if you're interested.

She has a boyfriend called andy. Both boys understand that were wife and wife and are good with it......they dont have a choice

..tomorrow I'm having a marital day with my wonderful wife while chris does football-y things. Not sure what yet. We might watch harry potter and eat every pepperdew pepper we can lay our mitts on. Or ill see if I can get hold of an episode of house to watch. Or we'll end up playing lego. Thats what happened last times.

I chuffin love lego, its my new obcession. I loved it as a kid and now that im in my twenties* ive rediscovered it. The wife and I had a great time building stuff such as this:

My front room at the moment looks like Lego Land has exploded. There are half built structures, odd shaped roads and random bricks scattered everywhere and a me in the middle shouting "GIVE ME A 2 X 6 FLAT PIECE, WHERE IS IT, I HAD IT A MOMENT AGO!" Those tends to be the time Chris looks at with bemusement and switches on the PS3 until the phase passes. He puts up with a lot of stuff like that.

Anyway, after the wife and I have finished pretending we're 5, we're onto sunday where its a family party for Chris' grandads birthday. There is a small ammount of dread in me at this because then his enitre family will know how unbelievably CRAP I am at bowling. Seriously. Last time I went i got distasteful looks from the scout group in the next lane. At first they giggled, then they gaffawed, then it was just wonderment at how anyone with arms, legs and cognative skills could be THAT BAD.

Anyway, thats my weekend, and my blog. It wasnt particularly interesting or lucid, but there it is. Blame Paul Duthie. He nagged me to post again.

A

*Thats the first time i have ever said "in my twenties", god im getting old.

Why I'm Doing this

I like writing. And those of you who follow me on twitter will know I like tweeting too. Ive had a blog for a while now. The first one was purely cathartic and not read by anyone except me, cringingly. Then I went on to publishing the blog under a pseudonym. A few of you will have read it, many, many more of you won’t have. I didn’t want anyone reading the blog and thinking it was shit. I never did it for any reason other than because I wanted to and I did *not* want to be judged for it.

The problem with writing under a pseudonym is that its very difficult to reference your actual life, or the things that are annoying you because the people who know you personally will make the connection instantly, crushing the illusion.

In the last few days however, I have decided I don’t care. I have taken a leaf from a great blogger called Antonvowel who is being very open and honest with people about his life and what he is going through and I applaud him for that. So I’ve decided to start up my own blog, for all of you to read or ignore at your own discretion. Some things will of course be out of bounds, things about work and family things, and some names will of course be changed to protect the guilty.

So welcome to A Wild Stab in the Dark – because that is, ostensibly, what it is.

Ax