Confessions of a film philistine

Ok, Ok, I admit it. I am a film philistine. If you name me 10 films you think i should have seen by the time i reached 23, I can almost guarantee I haven't seen it.

Seriously.

I’ve played this game with people before, and they always start with the more obscure films, thinking that I *must* have seen Pulp Fiction, or Dirty Dancing, or Lord of the Rings, or anything like that. I am here to tell you that I have NEVER seen Pulp Fiction. I have NEVER seen Dirty Dancing. I have only ever seen 45 MINUTES of Lord of the Rings. The second one. Whatever it was called.

I’ve never been one for new year’s resolutions, but as a promise to my Wife, Sarah and my Boyfriend, Chris, I will look to take a poll from you dear twitterers and blog readers, as well as other people, and I will endeavour to watch the top 10 most recommended films over 2010.

So, here is how it works. Subject to the few rules below, you post your top 10 films that you think i must see by the age of 23. I will then tally all of the votes up of the films i haven’t seen and will endeavour to watch the top 10 next year, and will of course keep you updated of this.

The rules are thus;

1 - No Porn

2 - No Horror

3- The Film must pass the flow chart below.

Other than that, I’m open to your suggestions. Place your suggestions in a list in the comment box, or DM me on twitter @alexlj and I will try get a decent list together by the new year. Lets see if we can make me slightly more educated.

Alex x

BRING YOUR DREAMS AND WE'LL TAKE THEM ELSEWHERE!

we need your help.

After secretly pissing money away for a few years, The University of Cumbria have decided to close its Ambleside Teaching Campus less than 8 weeks after a new batch of undergrads started term. They have mislead the students, the parents of students and the community into thinking that any such closures would be well into the future.

Below is a blog from my little brother who is one of those undergraduates. I implore you all to have a read and sign a petition on http://ourcampaign.org.uk/amblesidecampus

Thank you

BRING YOUR DREAMS AND WE'LL TAKE THEM ELSEWHERE!

Well it's a sad sad day for Ambleisde eh! the self proclaimed home of Educational inspirator Charlotte Mason is comming to its end, the person who help shape and form the way people view and teach within Britain is being shunned aside to accomodate for the more "profitable" campus of Carlilse and Lancaster. WHAT A FUCKIN JOKE.

The shock of this incident was unprecidented and is something that I am sure, whatever the issue, only exasserbated a long and tiring process of self deprecation and poor management, but we wont dwell on that...ok we will, but maybe a little later.

The entire situation likens itself, for me atleast to the morning after the night before. You wake up in a daze, lights killing your eyes and you swear down that you could NEVER have spent all of the £28 million pounds you withdrew from the cash machine without realising. SURELY NOT, so you replay it through in your mind. There were the shots in the bar, the 5 to 10 pints in the SU, oh and that new massive Sports Centre in Lancaster, and you collapse in a pathetic heap on the floor of your cheffuer driven car as you rocking backwards and forwards. Anyone else? NO? well let me take you on a journey eh...

FLASH BACK TO SEPTEMBER 2009...

Results day. A nervous time in everyones life...no not the results...because you want one more pop at the champ, the last chance to have get Bully's "what you could of had" prize that is your high school love interest. BUT ANYWAY, only achieving a BDD I decided to sack my original plan of Business Studies in light of a new life style, something that actually meant something, something where people called you Sir because they respected you not because they were paid to...and then it clicked, PRIMARY EDUCATION! YES! THATS PERFECT! So after much dilberation, "but mum theres simply not enough pubs per person ratio" you settle on the ideal place, and for me...that was the lazy little CUMBRIAN village if Ambleside!

Having only got in through clearing it was clear this was my last shot at the title, so I put on my suit and headed off...the weather was nice, the view was emmence and the campus and those within seemed to me like an idealic setting to spend three years. This was later improved by the promise that last year around 85% of students leaving the University found full time employment within the first 6 months, AMAZING!

PERFECT! I could ride out the economic crisis on the backs of admittedly innocent tax payers, and repay my debt to society, both financial and by allowing the future generations of Britain to excell and succeed leading to a fast service time in KFC! BUT WAIT, it gets better, not only is it a nice place to be it presented itself within the welcome slides as "the second best teaching campus in Europe". WOW! I'VE BEEN THERE I THOUGHT TO MYSELF! thats amazing! Europe, thats possibly better than Spain, Italy and even France, and the last time that happend Churchill took the lead...to be fair the best campus could have been a small shack in Wales for all I knew but, no this place seemed like the BEST place to spend 3 years and £12,000! STROLL ON!

FAST FORWARD TO DECEMBER 2009...

I've been here for over 8 weeks and made numerous friends for life, I wake up a little like I already said, the morning after the night before, blishfully unaware that today was the end. I stroll up to the Library with the perfect intention of doing some work at 11.00 and at 11.10 I came back home. PERFECT STUDENT. Hunger had set in and as I walked through the APL I saw the holy grail of spread, sandwiches, dips and those little bread shape things that taste like cheese...you know what I mean like up market mini cheddars, cause there no normal mini cheddars that Charlotte Mason mini chedders. Anyways, some suits walk up and start munching away. Thinking nothing of it I ordered my sandwich and sneak of back to bed.

WE ARE BEING SHUT DOWN! CHAOS! MADNESS!

I swear to god the only time I've seen more water in anyone place was Cockermouth a few weeks ago! BUT PEOPLE CRYING? WHATS UP? rumours flying whats going on...THEN SUCCESS 5.00PM THE BAR! RESULT! WE'LL SHOW THOSE SUITS THEY CAN'T FUCK AROUND WITH A-SIDE.

Here they come, the enemy..."hey guys" crys a sheepishly over paid minion "just want to give you the opportunity to ask any questions you may have regarding the issues today" BANG! the hands of anger go up on mass like a sea of...well angry people with questions I suppose.

BUT anyway, questions fly and comments made, the best being "you should change your motto from bring your dreams, to bring your dreams and we'll take them someone else" GOOD LAD! VICTORY! and like an odd episode the Jeremy Kyle more and more comments are fired...but SHIT the suits have a plan, the master of all plans...the "I AM RUBBER YOU ARE GLUE WHAT YOU SAY BOUNCES OF ME A STICKS TO YOU" the sly fuckers!

"We had planned to expand over the last couple of years, but obviously we can't do that now" WELL NO FUCKING SHIT! I thought that if I want to expand my business I had to buy more business but ha silly me I think i'll sell it and go home just in time for Nieghbours.

THEN...WHEN A HERO COMES ALONG, WITH THE STRENGTH TO CARRY ON...DAVE! YOU ROLL OUT THOSE POLITIICAL PUNCHES! "Excuse me, ha this is actually a student conferance" TOUGH SHIT LADY DAVE ROLES WITH US NOW! HA!

"We didn't realise that we were in that financial position"

OH OK! sorry here I was under the fairly innocent assumption that £11.8 million was a fairly easy thing to keep an eye on, obviously not! OH SPEAKING OF WHICH IF ANYBODY HAS SEEN A BRIEF CASE FULL OF CASH AMOUNTING TO AROUND THAT FIGURE PLEASE CONTACT ME I SEEM TO HAVE MISPLACED IT...what do you mean it's now a Sports Centre?

Then theres a Window of opportunity to just take that suited and booted team of nerds and knock them down a peg. BUT OF COURSE, as they do so well, they ignored the situation for well over 40 minutes, "maybe his arm will get tired" nah not this one! STAND UP!

"So if I get my student maintainance loan of around £3,500 that covers the lot as does my tution fees then how the fuck can you lose track of that amount of money?"

"Well we have pentitions to pay" GO ANSWER, SUCH A GOOD ANSWER, "oh well sorry thats ok then" FUCK OFF.

Home my friends is where the heart is. Charlotte Masons heart was here, the University of Cumbrias heart lies here, and guess what SO DOES MINE!

So take Lancaster, take Carisle, take fucking London AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE because I ain't giving up without a fight and no one should! Those who got us into this mess and those who ignored it SHOULD BE FUCKIN ASHAMED! YOU'VE KILLED EDUCATION, AMBLESIDE AND THE DREAMS AND ASPERATIONS OF NOT ONE OR TWO BUT THREE YEARS OF STUDENTS!

FUCK KNOWS WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS...

UCAS Operator: "So your applying for Lancaster Sir?"

Student: "No AM-BLE-SIDE"

UCAS Operator: "Carlisle?"

Student: "No AM-BLE-SIDE, you know massive hills, always rains?"

UCAS Operator: "Putting you through to Lancaster now Sir thank you"

FEEL FREE TO COPY AND PASTE THIS! OR TELL ME TO DO ONE